Exactitude
by Rhea-samma
Summary: Tatsumi makes a critical slip of the tongue and it's going to cost him if he's not careful. From the fabled hot springs trip. WatarixTatsumi. Hilarity ensues.


Some lines stolen directly from the Viz tranlsation of the manga x3  
Tatsumi shouldn't say such things around a drunken Watari. He should know better, honestly. Hehehe, I should write a sequal. (Be sure to leave a review/comment 'mkay? x33)

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Conventional wisdom/methods for instant soberization were all a bunch of crap.

Watari knew this, he had many years experience with the matter of being drunk and/or tipsy. That's why, even after being scared witless he was still unfocused. He was drawn a little out of his drunken haze when Tsuzuki fell victim to.. "A clog?" He picked it up and stared at it blankly. He kinda liked being drunk. It made his mind slow down, he stopped analyzing things. Had he been sober, he would have already determined the kind of wood it was, when it had been made, what tools had been used, the surface area, weight, volume... Instead it was just a clog. He fobbed it off to Tsuzuki and went back to staring around in a stupor for another few minutes.

"Alright, Watari and I will pair up." ZOOM! He ears zeroed in on that. (And he was certainly a good deal more alert now!) The next part of what Tatsumi said was almost lost as Watari stared at him with only the intent a drunken genius can. "...the girls can search the castle again. Tsuzuki, Kurosaki, Kattsue and Ketto C can search together." Watari had to smother giggles as he stood there, waiting for his partner to get rid of the girls, who were complaining at the loss of Hisoka. Finally Tatsumi turned to him. _Wh-what's up with that look?_ Watari's 'hit by a hammer' grin became all the wider.

"So..." Tatsumi raised a brow parroting the word back,

"'So'?" The blond titled his head, still grinning without a care in the world,

"So you wanna be on top or should I?" There was a pause in which Tatsumi tried to digest this statement.

"I--_pardon_?" He cleared his throat, "_I don't think I understood your question Watari._" But the tone indicated that (of course) he _had_ (though for Watari's health there _better_ have been some sort of misunderstanding). The scientist smiled and was happy to clarify,

"When we have sex. I assume that's what we're going to do here yes?" Tatsumi could not hold a lid down on his composure any longer,

"WHAT!? How on earth did you get that--where... I never said _anything_ remotely sexual you, you perverse inebriate!" Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely, Watari didn't seem put out in the slightest.

"You didn't, it was all implied." Tatsumi was annoyed to find the glare was doing nothing to phase the other man.

"Oh _do_ go on," he grumbled, voice heavy with sarcasm. Grinning like a loon Watari stepped up and threw an arm around Tatsumi, his grip startlingly hard to get out of,

"Actually I'd go further and say it was subconscious, maybe even unconscious. But let's review what you said when arranging the search parties."

"Alright..." Tatsumi said warily, wondering why he was even going along with this in the first place.

"'Watari and I will pair up.'(Notice the double entendre here.)" There was a scowl in place now,

"I still fail to see how that translates to 'Oh Watari let's have hot sex here and now, take me, I cannot wait any longer.'" Tatsumi instantly regretted opening his mouth, and he could not look at the other man's licentious, knowing grin.

"I said nothing of the kind either, but obviously you're understanding the nature of implied statements now. Now combine that first signal with the fact that we don't seem to be planning on doing any actual work..." The secretary was indignant at that,

"Don't lump me in with you, slacker!" Watari sniggered,

"Please, you told the other two parties to go search, but there was no mention of us having to go look for anyone or anything anywhere. Isn't that just a little bit suspicious?" _God damned hair-splitting scientist!_

"I--You.. over-analyzing little..."

"You know what else is funny? You haven't actually turned me down, nor expressed disinterest in the matter." Watari laughed, for no real reason. Tatsumi half-growled, half-sighed,

"You are drunk."

"So if I was sober your reservations wouldn't be an issue?" Tatsumi's glare increased.

"You're _drunk_," he repeated a little more firmly. Watari only smiled with deceptive simple-mindedness.

"That's still not a 'noooooooo!'"

"You are drunk." Tatsumi repeated a third time, as though closing the matter. Watari's hold on him tightened a little,

"So I am." He swooped in and pecked Tatsumi on the cheek, "You'll forgive a drunken pass, won't you?" Mentioning the pink touching Tatsumi's face would be a ticket to an instant second death.

"That was not a _pass_, that was a.. an argument." Watari giggled--only because he was tipsy.

"Oh did I make a good case for myself?" Tatsumi rolled his eyes, praying to the Powers Beyond for patience,

"As loathe as I am to admit it, that was some of the best drunken logic I've ever heard. But it was still drunk. Now do me a favor and get sober quickly so we can drop this matter."

"You know I hear sex is a great way to sober up quick." The shadows in the room gave an interesting twitch,

"Wa_ta_riiii---" The other man smiled,

"Now _that_ was a pass!" The secretary rubbed his forhead and the headache forming there. This was going to be a long night.


End file.
